After three decades leading high-performing teams and coaching elite professionals,
one truth keeps showing up:
Confidence opens doors.
Conceit closes them.
For every leader admired for their certainty,
there’s another quietly dismissed as arrogant.
The difference isn’t tone of voice, it’s intention.
The supporting vlog is below:
The paradox of excellence
Doctors, lawyers, founders, and CEOs tell me the same thing:
“If I speak with conviction, I’m seen as arrogant.
If I don’t, I’m seen as unsure.”
It’s a paradox I first noticed in my corporate years;
in boardrooms managing €300M divisions,
where confidence was expected,
but humility earned trust.
High performers walk that line daily.
The same precision that builds their reputation
can also distance them from authenticity.
Question: Could this be why some High Achievers are silent… See my last last blog below: https://loxamconsultingltd.org/the-silence-of-high-achievers-why-smart-professionals-dont-always-speak-up/
Confidence as currency; humility as value
In law, that tension is magnified.
Barristers and solicitors are trained to project certainty,
to advocate, persuade, and defend with authority.
Yet confidence that edges toward arrogance
can erode credibility in an instant.
Judges read tone as much as evidence.
A misplaced pause, a sharp inflection,
and what was meant as confidence becomes conceit.
It’s the same in medicine, leadership, or business:
confidence is currency,
but humility is the stabilising force that gives it value.
The psychology behind it
Harvard studies on leadership perception
show that leaders who blend competence with warmth
are rated far more trustworthy and effective
than those who rely on authority alone.
It’s not about being softer.
It’s about being real.
From projection to embodiment
I spent years performing confidence,
in sales negotiations, investor meetings, board reviews.
And I’ve coached countless leaders doing the same.
That projection protects,
but it also disconnects.
The more you perform confidence,
the less you feel it.
And the further you drift from your true centre.
Confidence with roots
In my Elevation Model™, this lives between
Stage 6 – Commitment and Stage 7 – Embodiment.
It’s where confidence stops being costume
and starts being character.
True confidence doesn’t shout… it aligns.
It’s grounded not in image, but in integrity.
It’s the point where belief, behaviour, and being
finally match.
That’s what I call confidence with roots.
Because confidence without grounding
is noise.
Confidence with roots is presence.
And when it’s built from alignment, not ego,
you don’t just look like a leader.
You become one.
Where does your confidence make the biggest impact right now?
Ps the image? Me feeling confident in a white tux! It’s that time of year where I go cruising!
I’m Laurence Loxam – I’ve pushed limits in business, on mountains, and at the finish line.
Now I help elite professionals do the same, pushing past the point most people stop.
I coach CEOs, doctors, lawyers, and founders who’ve hit success, but still feel there’s more.
Together, we unlock clarity, sharpen confidence, and lead with conviction.
🔗 loxamconsultingltd.org
📩 Ready for your next leadership breakthrough? Let’s connect.
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