We stayed in France longer because we could, but real freedom still comes with responsibility.
We stayed in France longer because we could.
That sentence sounds like the perfect advertisement for working for yourself. It is also only half the truth.
There was no employer expecting me back at a desk on Monday morning. I did not need to submit an annual leave request, negotiate another few days away or explain why returning home immediately made little sense. We had the opportunity to remain in France, so we took it.
That is one of the genuine privileges of working for yourself. You can make decisions around your life rather than constantly forcing your life around somebody else’s timetable.
But the business stayed with us.
I still worked every day, with some shifts lasting up to five hours. Family time occasionally had to fit around those periods, and although we were enjoying France, I was never completely disconnected from what was happening at home.
We stayed longer because I had freedom. I kept working because that freedom came with responsibility.
Both things were true.
Why we stayed
The trip had been fairly last-minute.
My wife pointed out that our daughter will soon start school, and the days when we can simply take off, or remain somewhere for longer, are becoming limited.
And we love holidays!
Before having young children, my wife and I regularly took five or more holidays a year. Our four-year-old has already visited around six or seven countries which is incredible as I did not travel abroad until I was about ten, and I was seventeen before I visited my second country.
We packed the car, took the children and the dog, and drove to France.
The first week was unbelievably hot, which restricted what we could comfortably do. When our original departure date arrived, my wife still had time away from work, the children were not tied to the school calendar and I had no meeting that made returning essential.
So we stayed.
That decision represented something many successful people want, even when they have no desire to become self-employed: the ability to make a meaningful choice without needing somebody else’s permission.
The part the photographs did not show
What annoys me slightly about the Instagram version of entrepreneurship is that everything looks effortless.
There is the attractive location, the family time and the apparent ability to work from anywhere. My photographs from France show a genuinely enjoyable family trip, but they do not show the whole thing.
They do not show the laptop being opened every day, a five-hour shift fitted around family plans, or the judgement about what must be completed and what can safely wait.
Loxam Consulting is built upon nearly 30 years of leadership, commercial and coaching experience. But as a business focused fully on executive coaching, it is still in its relatively early years.
At this stage, I remain central to it. In two, five or ten years, that should look different, with stronger systems, more support and less dependence on me.
For now, I carry the business with me.
I do not say that as a complaint. I have always worked hard, whether for myself or an employer. Working while we were away was not a shock, and it did not ruin the holiday.
But somebody imagining that business ownership automatically means working less may find the reality uncomfortable.
The freedom is genuine. So is the work required to create it.
AI helped make the choice possible
There is a direct connection between this experience and my previous article, When AI Makes Everyone Faster, Clarity Becomes the Advantage.
AI now saves me around 40% of my working time. It handles administration and execution that would otherwise consume much more of each day.
It does not decide what matters, judge the quality of an answer or accept accountability when something goes wrong. It creates capacity.
Without AI, I may still have gone to France. I am less certain that I could have extended the trip while continuing to support the business effectively.
The technology helped contain the work within focused periods. But I still had to decide what deserved attention, what could wait and what did not need doing at all.
Faster only becomes useful when clarity determines where the released time goes.
This is not really about leaving employment
A doctor, lawyer or chief executive reading this may have no intention of starting a business.
That is entirely reasonable.
A doctor may want to reduce clinical sessions, develop private work or regain control over the week. A lawyer may still want partnership while questioning how much of life the next stage will require. A CEO may enjoy leading the organisation but recognise that being involved in every important decision is neither freedom nor sustainable leadership.
I spoke recently with a successful lawyer who already worked three days a week, yet remained conscious of how that choice might be interpreted by other people.
Control over the diary does not automatically create internal freedom. You can reclaim a day and still remain governed by expectations, comparison and the fear of appearing insufficiently ambitious.
That is what I explored in Why High Achievers Feel Stuck: Even When Everything Looks Successful.
The income can be good. The role can be respected. Yet the person behind it may quietly realise that success has created more responsibility without enough choice.
The question is not necessarily:
Should I resign?
It may be:
What do I now want this success to make possible?
The founder’s version of being stuck
Founders approach the issue from the opposite direction.
They may already possess the theoretical freedom an employed professional wants. Yet many create businesses from which they cannot properly step away. They own the company, but the company owns their attention.
That is where this connects with Where Ambition Outpaces Execution.
Ambition can create the business, win clients and build momentum. But systems, people, accountability and execution are what eventually reduce its dependence on the founder.
There is nothing inherently wrong with a young business needing intense personal commitment. Mine does.
The question is whether that effort is building towards greater freedom or becoming the permanent operating model.
Freedom needs discipline
Research links autonomy with stronger reported wellbeing and performance. Research into recovery from work also shows that time away is most valuable when people can detach psychologically rather than merely moving their work to another location.
That tension felt real in France. Nobody instructed me to open the laptop.
Nobody instructed me to close it either.
The discipline required to work for yourself is usually described as the ability to begin: getting up, staying motivated and delivering without supervision.
There is another form of discipline that receives less attention. It is the ability to stop. Having a trusted partner who can see this helps enormously.
It is deciding that an email can wait, that a visible task is not automatically urgent, and that being able to work from anywhere does not mean you should work everywhere.
I am not claiming that working during a holiday is always wrong. The work was part of the bargain that allowed us to stay longer. I accepted it willingly, and the trip remained worthwhile.
The distinction is whether the compromise is conscious.
There is a difference between choosing focused work because it creates more family time overall and feeling unable to stop because every unfinished task carries the same emotional weight.
One is an intentional trade-off.
The other is captivity disguised as flexibility.
What is your success for?
Turning 50 has made that question more important to me.
I am not becoming less ambitious. I am becoming more deliberate about what I expect ambition to produce.
Earlier in life, ambition may be about proving yourself, creating financial security or building status. Later, the question changes.
What is that success allowing you to experience? Who receives your best attention? How much control do you have over your week? Can you enjoy what you have built, or are you permanently maintaining it?
Staying in France mattered because the opportunity existed now. Our daughter will start school soon, and there will be fewer moments when we can simply decide to remain away.
The business is important to me…. So is the life I am building around it.
Where coaching enters the conversation
This is where the story returns to my work as an executive coach.
I am not there to tell every doctor, lawyer or CEO to resign, or every founder to step away from their business. The work begins with clarity.
Inside The Elevation Model™, Vision asks what you want success to create. Alignment examines whether your role, business and choices support that vision. Awareness exposes the assumptions and expectations that keep capable people locked into ways of working they may no longer consciously choose.
From there, the conversation becomes practical.
That might mean redesigning a role, reducing clinical commitments, changing the route towards partnership, strengthening a leadership team or building a company that is less dependent on its founder.
Sometimes it means leaving. Often it does not.
The purpose is to help high achievers stop assuming that the current version of success is the only one available.
Closing thought
We stayed longer because we could. That was freedom.
I worked every day because the business still needed me. That was responsibility.
Neither truth cancels out the other.
I am grateful that working for myself gave our family the choice to remain in France. I am also honest enough to say that the business travelled with us.
That is not the effortless entrepreneurial lifestyle sometimes sold online.
It is better than that because it is real.
Success should not simply create more work, status and responsibility. At some point, it should create greater choice over how you live, lead and spend the time you have worked so hard to earn.
The freedom was real. So was the work.
The more important question is whether your version of success is creating the choices you actually want.
About Laurence Loxam
I’m Laurence Loxam and I’ve pushed limits in business, on mountains, and at the finish line. Now I help elite professionals do the same, pushing past the point where most people stop.
I coach doctors, lawyers, CEOs and founders who’ve hit success, but still feel there’s more. Together, we unlock clarity, sharpen confidence, and lead with conviction.
Ready for your next leadership breakthrough? Let’s connect.
References
- Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development. CIPD Good Work Index 2025.
- International Labour Organization. Working Time and Work-Life Balance Around the World.
- Tahar, Y.B. et al. Emotional Demands and Entrepreneurial Burnout: The Role of Autonomy and Job Satisfaction.
- Sonnentag, S., Cheng, B.H. and Parker, S.L. Recovery from Work: Advancing the Field Toward the Future.
- Grant, R.S. et al. I Need a Vacation: A Meta-Analysis of Vacation and Employee Well-Being.
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