There’s a quiet compliment many high performers receive throughout their careers:

“You’re so capable.”

It’s meant well.
It usually is.

But over time, that label can come at a cost most people don’t see, including the person carrying it… the load.

Because when you’re seen as capable, you become the default solution. The safe pair of hands. The one who “will just sort it.”

And slowly, almost invisibly, that capability starts to work against you.

When Capability Turns Into Expectation

Highly capable people rarely struggle with competence.
They struggle with containment.

What starts as trust becomes assumption.
What begins as recognition becomes dependency.

In The Noise of Success, I explored how external validation can get louder as responsibility increases — often drowning out the quieter signals that something is no longer aligned.

I see this pattern repeatedly with doctors, lawyers, founders, and senior leaders. Not short of skill. Not lacking drive. Simply carrying too much because they can.

They step in before things break.
They fill gaps others avoid.
They absorb complexity without complaint.

And because they don’t visibly falter, nobody checks the load they’re carrying.

Including them.

The Promotion Paradox

Here’s the paradox:

The more capable you are, the less room you’re often given to grow.

Organisations reward reliability before they reward evolution.

If you’re excellent at execution, you get more execution.
If you’re calm under pressure, you get more pressure.
If you’re adaptable, you get more ambiguity.

In The Mirage of Momentum, I wrote about how forward motion can look like progress — even when it’s simply repetition at a higher speed. Capability fuels momentum, but not always direction.

Eventually, your role expands… but your agency doesn’t.

And when you become indispensable in the current system, the system has no incentive to move you out of it.

When “I’ve Got This” Becomes a Trap

Capable people rarely ask for help early.

Not because they’re arrogant, but because competence has become part of their identity.

They’ve learned that being useful equals being valued.

So they:

• Think longer instead of speaking sooner
• Carry doubt privately while projecting certainty
• Take responsibility for outcomes they don’t fully control

As I explored in The Silence of High Achievers, this isn’t weakness. It’s self-protection.

But over time, it creates a quiet emotional tax.

Not burnout… yet.
But erosion.

A Personal Realisation

I’ve lived this pattern myself.

Early in my career, I became known for turning around underperforming teams and businesses. I was trusted with the difficult roles. I moved locations. I fixed problems. I delivered results.

Later, at senior levels, I was hired for the same reason; to steady organisations, lift performance, and lead people through complexity.

I was rewarded for it.
But the reward was always for the organisation.

At a certain point, I realised that being highly capable can also mean being permanently allocated, and that wanting something more for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s self-aware.

Redefining Strength

Leadership maturity isn’t about how much you can carry.

It’s about knowing what not to carry anymore.

That might mean:

• Letting others struggle instead of rescuing
• Redefining your role from solver to ‘shaper’
• Creating space for thinking, not just reacting

One of the most dangerous side effects of capability is that it hides blind spots in plain sight. When things keep working, no one questions the cost.

Including you.

I often say:

“When you’re in the waves, you can’t see the coastline. That’s why a coach becomes the lighthouse“.

Capability keeps you swimming.
Perspective helps you navigate.

The Question That Changes Everything

The real shift happens when capable people stop asking:

“Can I handle this?”

And start asking:

“Should I be the one handling this at all?”

That question changes careers.
It changes cultures.
It changes lives.

Because capability is a gift.

But clarity is what ensures it doesn’t become a burden.

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I’m Laurence Loxam – I’ve pushed limits in business, on mountains, and at the finish line.

Now I help elite professionals do the same, pushing past the point most people stop.

I coach CEOs, doctors, lawyers, and founders who’ve hit success, but still feel there’s more.

Together, we unlock clarity, sharpen confidence, and lead with conviction.

🔗 loxamconsultingltd.org

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