The beginning of a new year often brings a familiar surge of intent.
Plans are made, ambitions revisited, and lines quietly drawn between who we have been and who we hope to become. Yet despite the optimism January carries, many people find themselves repeating the same patterns by February; not because they lack discipline or intelligence, but because meaningful growth requires something far less comfortable.
Discomfort.
Over the years, one phrase has stayed with me, both personally and professionally:
‘Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Because that is where growth begins.’
Not reckless discomfort. Not suffering for its own sake. But chosen, intentional discomfort, the kind that stretches identity, disrupts habit, and expands what feels possible.
Why discomfort is so often misunderstood
Discomfort has a poor reputation.
It is frequently confused with failure, weakness, or unnecessary hardship; something to be avoided, endured, or pushed through as quickly as possible. Yet biologically and psychologically, discomfort is neither good nor bad. It is simply a signal.
Neuroscience helps explain why.
Research synthesised by Stanford psychiatrist Dr Anna Lembke shows that dopamine is not primarily a “pleasure chemical”, but a motivation and pursuit chemical, and is released when we engage with novelty, uncertainty, and effort. Similarly, the work of neuroscientist Dr Robert Sapolsky demonstrates that serotonin is closely linked to earned confidence and perceived competence, increasing after individuals successfully navigate challenge rather than avoid it.
In simple terms:
The very neurochemistry many people hope to access through comfort is most reliably activated through intentional challenge.
Two very different relationships with discomfort
In my coaching work, I see two broad, and very human, relationships with discomfort.
1. The over-pusher
High achievers are often deeply familiar with discomfort. Pressure, responsibility, and challenge have shaped their success. For them, discomfort is not something to overcome; it is something they have normalised.
The risk here is not avoidance, but over-exposure.
Relentless pushing can quietly cross the line from growth into erosion. Fatigue, decision overload, emotional flatness, or a sense of disconnection often appear gradually, disguised as commitment or resilience.
This is where my role as a coach frequently sits:
Not to soften ambition, but to help leaders aim it more intelligently, it’s knowing when discomfort is still developmental, and when it has become a warning sign.
(You may recognise this theme from earlier reflections such as The Hidden Cost of Being Too Capable or The Noise of Success.)
2. The comfort-protector
At the other end of the spectrum are people who genuinely want change, yet remain anchored to familiarity.
They want to lose weight.
They want to travel.
They want to study, retrain, or step into something new.
Yet months, sometimes years pass. Comfort becomes rationalised as logic. Confidence is postponed. The “right time” never quite arrives.
Here, discomfort is not something to manage, it is something to initiate.
Behavioural science consistently shows that confidence does not precede action; it follows it. Stanford behaviour scientist Dr BJ Fogg demonstrates that identity and self-belief are reinforced after behaviour, not before it. Waiting to feel ready is often the very thing that keeps people stuck.
Different patterns.
Same underlying mechanism.
A personal moment of discomfort
A few years ago, while travelling in Iceland, my recorded a short video that still resonates with me.
On the surface, it looks like a cold-water plunge, which is something that has become almost fashionable. But context matters.
Despite having competed at Ironman level, I have always had a natural fear of water. I also hate the cold. Genuinely. As my family was only reminded again recently, my mother still recalls having to physically pull me into the sink as a child just to wash me.
Standing in Iceland, stripped back, cold air biting, knowing I was about to step into freezing water… it was deeply uncomfortable.
But it was chosen.
That distinction matters.
As health psychologist Dr Kelly McGonigal has shown, it is not stress itself that causes harm, but unchosen, chronic stress. Deliberate, meaningful challenge; what psychologists often refer to as eustress, which enhances resilience, learning, and performance.
Discomfort with intention expands us.
Discomfort without awareness exhausts us.
The real growth question for 2026
As a new year begins, the most useful question is not:
What should I achieve?
It is this:
What discomfort am I avoiding… or over-using?
For some, growth in 2026 will come from doing something hard for the first time.
For others, it will come from stepping back, creating space, and resisting the urge to prove themselves yet again.
This tension sits at the heart of leadership development and personal change, and echoes themes explored in earlier pieces such as Blind Spots, Taking Time Out, and The Leadership Mirror.
Growth is rarely about doing more.
Often, it is about choosing better.
Discomfort with discernment
The goal is not endless discomfort.
Nor is it permanent safety.
The goal is discernment.
Knowing when discomfort is a teacher.
Knowing when it is a signal to pause.
And knowing when comfort has quietly become a constraint.
When leaders develop this awareness, something shifts. They stop reacting to pressure, and start designing progress.
A final reflection
Whether you are someone who pushes relentlessly, or someone quietly longing for change, the invitation for 2026 is the same:
Choose discomfort deliberately.
Not to suffer.
But to grow.
And if you are unsure which discomfort you need right now, that uncertainty itself may be the most valuable signal of all.
What might growth be asking of you this year?
Further reading & evidence
- Lembke, A. (2021). Dopamine Nation.
- Sapolsky, R. M. (2017). Behave.
- McGonigal, K. (2015). The Upside of Stress.
- Fogg, B. J. (2019). Tiny Habits.
I’m Laurence Loxam – I’ve pushed limits in business, on mountains, and at the finish line.
Now I help elite professionals do the same, pushing past the point most people stop.
I coach CEOs, doctors, lawyers, and founders who’ve hit success, but still feel there’s more.
Together, we unlock clarity, sharpen confidence, and lead with conviction.
🔗 loxamconsultingltd.org
📩 Ready for your next leadership breakthrough? Let’s connect.
Leave a Reply